I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Even my vagina gasped.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
