PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
