it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
bring money and cleavage
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
