this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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