Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it hurts more in the daytime
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
