you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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