The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
