Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
