3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
