I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
