She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
