He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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