It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
