He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
