WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
