im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
