Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
