Say something about gay babies.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
