He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
