Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
