So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't turn off my feet"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
