My hand turned me down
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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