I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
