My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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