dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
