So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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