if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
