some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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