blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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