I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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