So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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