I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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