what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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