I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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