But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
