I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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