the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
