You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
