I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
