Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
