The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
