I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
