then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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