watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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