We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
