you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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