doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
