"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
