I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
