She said her name was "party"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
