I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
