Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize