It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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