Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
